Doug McKinney
Feature Presentation Owner
June 29, 2006
Sixty picks: sixty things I noticed in the NBA Draft on Wednesday night.
-7:31. How come New York gets to hosts all these Drafts?
-7:34. Nobody cares about what Stephen A. Smith has to say about the NBA Draft. Quite Frankly, I don’t think anyone cares about anything he says.
-7:35. EA Sports’ NBA Live 07 is showing commercials featuring Adam Morrison. I think I’ll wet my pants.
-7:39. Andrea Barn…Baragni…Bargnani is the 1st pick to the Toronto Raptors. Who?
-7:41. Stuart Scott interviewing Andrea Barn…Bagel…Bargwhatever. Who cares what Stuart Scott has to say either?
-7:.44. Andy “According to my sources” Katz. Not enough people know who Katz is to give a care about what he has to say. The only thing you need to know about Katz is that he goes on air saying “according to my sources,” when in fact his “sources” are just press releases sent from schools. I find out the same time as Katz does.
-7:47. I’m surprised ESPN didn’t have an all day (more like all week) NBA Pre-Draft Preview Pre Special show like they do with the NFL. Eh, that simply would mean more Smith, Scott and Katz. Good idea to pass.
-7:50. Adam Morrison to the Bobcats. That means his ugly mustache and mop head are on the East Coast, which means he’s closer to me. That's not a pretty face.
-7:53. Rachel Nichols. Now there's a pretty face I want to see more of. She can move close to me anytime she wants. ZING!
-7:55. For those of you who didn’t get to watch the Draft, the orange in the Bobcats color scheme brings out Morrison’s mustache. No, it doesn’t really. Still ugly.
-7:56. Dickie V. You are a stud.
-7:57. Tyrus Thomas. Good luck young padawan. Lots of people think you are going to be a bust and should’ve stayed another year, or two, or three. (see: OMAR COOK) You are freakish athlete, though.
-7:59. Omar Cook. Could’ve had a good game. Ah, what a shame. Kids, stay in school.
-8:04. ESPN loves to “Wired” and “Mic’d Up” everyone. Why can’t they just mute Smith, Scott and Katz.
-8:15. Jay Wright. What a stud. I see Dick Vitale coming in soon.
-8:16. Yep, I was right. Dick talking about how Randy Foye will improve the character in Portland. Wait, this just in … “Randy Foye has been arrested briefly after being selected in the NBA draft on charges of…”
-8:24. Stephen A…please shut up.
-8:27. Why is Stuart Scott touching Gay’s hands. Ironic. Another man touching another man. That other man happens to be Rudy (think last name). Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
-8:30. 1st surprise pick of the draft … in at number 10 … Patrick O’Bryant goes to the Warriors. I saw O’Bryant a lot this season; I was impressed. But this isn’t the Missouri Valley Conference. This is the NBA. He’ll have a lot of work to do.
-8:37. Haha. It just came to my mind that if J.J. Redick goes to the Utah Jazz, I bet his “swinger” partying and drinking mentality will fit right in with the Mormons out in Salt Lake. What a great fit.
-8:42. J.J. Redick to the Magic. Ehhh, I bet his “swinger” partying and drinking mentality will fit right in with Mickey Mouse. Maybe he can read his poetry to the young visitors. Hope he doesn’t ride Splash Mountain while under the influence.
-8:43. Cue Dickie V. He’s going nuts. His boy is still on the East Coast.
-8:53. Wow did anyone see David Stern’s reaction to the trade that featured 7th pick Randy Foye, Dan Dickau and Raef LaFrentz for Theo Ratliff (oh yeah and Sebastian Telfair)? Either he’s one sarcastic S.O.B. or he didn’t hear from Andy Katz’s sources that night.
-9:00. Stern must’ve been sarcastic. Poking fun of Dan Patrick on live TV. Now if only Stern could’ve gone after Stephen A. Smith.
-9:00. Ronnie Brewer is going to the Jazz. Nice pick up for Utah.
-9:11. Rodney Carney is the 16th pick to the Bulls. He’s a stud.
-9:14. In all seriousness, seems like a 100 moves have been made so far. We’re only on the 17th pick.
-9:18. LaMarcus Aldridge (to the Blazers) and Tyrus Thomas (to the Bulls) traded for each other. It seems like they have already been traded 11 times tonight already.
-9:18. Marcus Williams is still available. I know the Washington Wizards need a big man, but you can’t pass on a point guard like Williams (who was projected to be a Top 10). That way you can move Arenas to the ‘2’. But then again the Wizards need a big man.
-9:23. Those Wizards are taking a while. C’mon hurry up and pick the next worthless Brendan Haywood wannabee.
-9:24. “The Ukraine Is Weak.” The Wizards drafted some guy from Ukraine and I’m not even going to attempt to spell his name. All that matters is the Wizards were trying to draft strength … and what’s this guy’s biggest area for improvement? Strength.
-9:27. Oh Knicks picking soon. It’s been funny hearing Knicks fans aka “NBA experts” this past month state whom the team should pick up.
“Yo kid, I’m telling you. The Knicks need to trade Ime Udoka and Jerome James for Yao Ming, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and Patrick Ewing. Then they can cut Malik Rose and pick up Derek Jeter. How can you not draft Jeter 1st pick overall? Seriously. I’m calling in to Mike and Mad Dog tomorrow.”
-9:30. Quincy Douby to the Kings. Good pick, but why isn’t he in the building. If I’m a potential First Round draft pick (I will for the 2008 draft) I am going to Madison Square Garden. Being there for the draft, If you are picked, you get to show off in your fancy suit
-9:32. Fans booing an Isaiah Thomas full screen board. HAHA. Ah, New York fans. Almost as bad as Philly fans. (cue some huge 250-pound 30 year-old Philly fan coming to my house and kicking my @$$.)
-9:35. And I still dislike Stephen A. Smith.
-9:35. And with the 20th pick the New York Knicks select … oh wait there’s a trade first, and Spike Lee is pissed … ahhh, it doesn’t matter who they pick, Knicks fans will boo anyway … select: Renaldo Balkman from South Carolina . Here come the boos in … 3… 2… 1. He’s actually not that bad of a player. (okay you can stop booing this story. This is just words on a computer screen. I can’t actually hear you!)
-9:48. Marcus Williams is finally drafted.
-10:07. I feel bad whoever gets picked by the Lakers. He’s going to have to report to Kobe Bryant and you know better keep Mr. Bryant happy. Or he’ll get you traded.
-10:11. Stephen A. Smith. Please shut up. It’s as if he doesn’t talk, he just shouts.
-10:20. Maurice Ager to the Mavericks. Congrats Ager. Mark Cuban is so cool of an owner expect a million dollars, the Maverick cheerleaders and an open bar in a private jet waiting for you outside. Why can’t I be picked by the Mavericks?
-10:22. Oh no, Knicks on board next. Knicks fans are now saying:
“Yo okay, I got it figured out. Trade Qyntel Woods for Dwyane Wade, Shaq, Babe Ruth, Shawn Marion and, eh, Albert Pujols. They should do that. I’m telling you that bum Isaiah Thomas better listen to me. That stinkin bum.”
-10:26. Knicks select … Mardy Collins from Temple. Collins is a tough kid, but he’s a guard. How many guards do the Knicks have? What, 10?
-10:31. Another trade…I can’t keep up anymore.
-10:32. I think the city of Portland traded their entire franchise for a baseball team.
-10:34. 1st round over. 2nd round here we come. Stern is relieved of his emcee duties. Russ Granik is up. He’s welcomed to a nice ovation (his last year in the NBA after 30 years of service).
-10:35. The Portland Trail Blazers pick … ahhh who cares, whoever it is will become a thug or arrested within a week.
-10:39. Blazers pick up James White from Cincinnati. Oh no. He lived close to my house for a while. Does that make my neighborhood look bad? Regardless, he’ll fit right in at Portland after playing in Cincinnati. The kid is good though. Has great athleticism, speed and the boy can leap out of a gym.
-10:50. Paul Davis to the Clippers. LA likes those Michigan big boys (see Chris Kaman). I remember few years back he was projected as a lock for Top 10. He does have a decent game though.
-11:05. Michael Jordan w/ Rachel Nichols one-on-one. I love both of those human beings. For two completely different reasons.
-11:09. Last Five Selections Board. You can tell it’s 2nd round. You’ve probably never heard of any of these guys.
-11:10. Chris Mullin w/ Dan Patrick. Wow he was a stud in NBA Jam. “Boom-shaka-alaka.”
-11:19. Dee Brown on pick 46 to the Jazz. Nice pick-up; could be sleeper of 2nd round.
-11:21. Wow Sal Fasano has a great mustache. Sorry, looking at Phillies-Orioles highlights. But why can’t Morrison grow out that kind of ‘stache.
-11:23. Wizards just drafted 6’10 Vladimir Veremeenko who played in Russia last year. Maybe he can be the next Alexander Ovechkin?
-11:26. The girl from the Heineken commercial (beer not so good, commercials are) is smoking hot. You know the chick that goes up to that guy and he buys her a drink. Then she walks away (happens to me all the time) and gives that drink to another guy, who turns out to be a friend of her brothers. That friend says “your sister is hot.” And the guy acknowledges and then realizes how incest that was. Good commercial. She’s hot.
-11:33. Clippers draft Guillermo Diaz. Nice pick-up. It was overshadowed by one of the 730,281 trades made tonight.
-11:52. Now that high school players are not allowed to enter the draft, clubs are continuing on drafting international players. That’s good and all, but what makes the international players sexier picks than proven college kids? Some of these international players are a few years away from playing in the NBA, while some are even a year or two away from even coming to the States. Why not give Pops Mensah-Bonsu or
-11:55. And Stephen A. Smith is still talking…
-11:58. Still talking …
-11:59. Still…talking…
You can reach Doug McKinney @ dmckinney@featurepresentationonline.com.
